She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
The woman at walgreens tried to sell me clearance condoms with my fake eyelashes. Does it look like I get laid?
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
So I wake up this morning with a bottle of dish detergent and a dildo. Good call on bringing those girls from community college.
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
There's no good way to say, "sorry your son saw me naked on top of your brother"
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
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