I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
All I want for christmas is my sobriety back.
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
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