He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
You just stood up, raised your glass and said, "I'd like to thank the academy" then fell through a glass table. THAT'S why we cut you off.
Is it inappropriate to send a happy 3-year anniversary of having a threesome with you and your ex girlfriend on easter text?
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
I'm drinking vodka out of a water bottle at work. Am I really the best person to come to for life advice?
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
Randomize
