Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
filled out health questionnaire for lower premiums a little bit too honestly. Literally got assigned a life coach.
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
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