Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
dinner at cheesecake factory: $40. drinks at yard house: $50. having sex in the VG parking lot while people are staring at you awkwardly: priceless. Goodnight.
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
When I'm famous, she'll look at her kids and go "I saw her buttcheeks beefore she was famous. I'm truly blessed."
Trying to put a fitted sheet on drunk is one of the boss levels of slutty adulthood.
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
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