Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
Tomorrow's Mother's Day and the only thing I can afford is beer and the McDonalds dollar menu. Do you think a Budweiser and a Big Mac says thank you for me fucking up your life since 1990?
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
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