Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
Omphalophobia is a real thing. don't ever fucking touch my belly button again dude
apparently while i was high i thought that putting a dinosaur temporary tattoo on my inner thigh would keep me from taking my pants off and having sex with him...
...it didn't...
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
Randomize
