My 12 y/o god son's bandmate just asked me to their school dance. Still he's a better catch than the last one...
I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
I want him to be the Hulk to my Brooke Hogan this Halloween. Can I ask him to be my daddy this weekend?
Only if you say it like that.
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
I just matched with a taco on tinder. Dreams come true.
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize
