You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
Randomize