I took my penis out way before I got to the bathroom and some dude kicked me out.
You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
Woke up this morning naked, wrapped in a bath mat with a wad of singles on the table. I'm calling it a win.
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
Worst. Date. Ever. He peeled a layer of bread off his mini burger buns because they had "too many carbs".
Her four year old daughter walked up to me grabbed my junk and said "this will be in mommy later." Wtf?
I have "if found please return to" written in sharpie on my arm, my uterus is rejecting everything, and I have hickies. I must actually be an 18 year old piece of shit girl instead of a responsible 23 year old
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
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