dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
I've been smelling a baby wipe for three minutes. I didn't think I was that drunk but I guess I am
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
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