Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
i'm pretty sure my brother is still drunk from last night. he's telling my parents that humans are at the top of the food chain for a reason and listing off all the exotic animals he would eat
Randomize
