hey babe. i'll pick you up in my mom's car. with my mom. she has nothing to do tonight.
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
And somehow in between all the vomitting you managed to mumble "Well this is attractive!" And I swear that's when I fell in love. Best. First. Date. Ever!
Randomize
