she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
My ex just sent me a message asking if she could blow me, but only if we get caught by her new bf. If she promises to swallow I'm doing it.
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
Just looked at my bank statement. 9 out of 10 transactions on the first page were from 9 different bars. The 10th was for birth control pills at the pharmacy. I need to rethink my lifestyle.
Randomize
