Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET MY FUCKING CUPCAKES WHEN THE GROUNDSWORKER I HOOKED UP WITH IS LOITERING IN THE VENDING AREA
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
I was a bouncer for about 90 seconds until the real bouncers figured out that I was doing their job
I lost my vibrator temporarily and for some unknown reason my first thought was that you might have stolen it. But then I realized you would never do that because you know it keeps me from killing people. But I am overtired and lacking in faith.
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
Randomize
