I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
My brother slept till 4, bought a sword, got drunk and sharpened said sword. I went to corporate compliance training. Life is not fair.
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
Randomize
