Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
You might have been able to redeem yourself had you not referred to grandma as "this bitch".
That explains the hand print on my face. That old lady knows how to throw a punch.
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
TELL HER ABOUT THE GODDAMNED MOTHERFUCKING POTATOES
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
Randomize
