Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
you said the mailboxes were turning into babies and they started crawling away. then you cried and asked me how you were gonna get your college acceptance letters
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
shape ups are the best shoes to wear when youre stoned. its like walking on little trampolines every step.
My phone really needs to stop auto correcting "library" to "ovary".
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
Can u pick me up? Lost my keys.
Sure. FYI- you "lost" them on the roof, trying to throw them over the house.
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
Randomize
