OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
What does it mean when the government shuts down and your boyfriends wife wants a divorce ON YOUR BIRTHDAY?
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
Randomize
