I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
I won't apologize to a one balled man
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
Listen, unless you want to spend your birthday in a trunk, you better invite me
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
Randomize
