and the officer said have you been drinking
and i said NOO SIR.
and he said, I am a woman.
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
Unlimited sex for unlimited netflix. I can deal with that. I think this is the first prostitution deal for netflix ever.
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
I shit you not. I was sitting on Brian's balcony...still drunk from the night before, and a hummingbird flew onto the patio, stared me right in the face and flew away. I feel like it was God's way of telling me, "Stop drinking."
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
I keep getting congratulated for drinking 2 six packs of mikes hard and winning the Olympic marathon and I don't remember this shit and now my throat is on fire
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
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