Um....I woke up to a lipgloss covered bottle of Jack daniels in my arms..
You've kissed worse.
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
Last night I tried to apply for a job at ihop. That drunk.
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
are you still alive?
no.
i'll cry at your funeral. and leave a burrito by your tombstone
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