What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
Can you put "designated driver" on a resume?
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
No, not at all. Pulling a condom out of your vag at 2pm is NOTHING like finding $10 in your winter coat. Stop trying to make me feel better.
I'm laying in the fetal position on the floor of my kitchen eating potato salad with my fingers. Please come over with some real food and keep me company.
My dad just asked Siri to "help me find my daughters dignity."
If you were my daughter, I'd do the same thing.
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
There is a baby in my apartment. What the fuck happened last night?
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