Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t ya”
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
Randomize
