We named our party play list daddy issues
its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
I'm calling into work with a wicked case of sledge hammer crotch. She has to understand
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
Randomize