She told me she only masterbates to Kenny Rogers songs.
OMG. What did u say?
I told her I did too.
you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
When did angry sex become our thing?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
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