chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
I just melted my phone trying to make cookies. I think that's a sign.
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
I'm so baked, I spent the last hour trying to screencapture the cracks on my phone.
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
Randomize
