i jhust puked up my retainher.
I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
You convinced her to break up with her boyfriend, made out with her all night, got her to buy us all shots then went home with a different girl...
That explains the "i hate you" text. But the facebook deletion is a bit harsh
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
Randomize
