well most of my day revolves around power hour
Fighting the police is like screwing a fat girl, if I'm drunk enough I'll do it
Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
Randomize
