I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
I might have been the first person in 2015 to throw up on a yellow cab before climbing in it.
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
I'm eating animal crackers on my bed next to my vibrator writing about the hopelessness and depravity of humanity. I am LIVING.
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
Randomize
