Kirsten Dunst is sitting next to me in a bar in NYC
Tell her I want my money back for Elizabethtown.
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
I hid my booze in my old Sesame Street lunch box. Big Bird might be disappointed, but I feel Oscar the Grouch would approve.
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
Omg just had weirdest best cab advice situation ever. I kissed the cabbies hand as I was leaving like he was the pope and cried
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
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