If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
Randomize
