The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
I'M GETTING MARRIED!
YOU'RE STILL MARRIED!
Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
Is that strawberry winking at me??
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