My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
I just tried to put my feet in my slippers and found cans of beer in them. Christmas in fucking july.
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
I told her we had to stay at the bar until at least midnight because that's when my direct deposit hit, don't tell me i'm not responsible
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
Randomize
