I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
He screamed for everyone to hide, unplugged the music, then talked to the cop. Last I saw he was high fiving him...
He's the fucking cop whisperer.
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
Randomize
