I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
Just walked outside my house; realized I wasn't wearing any pants after about 3 minutes or so.
Drunk, high, hungover?
...I wish I had an excuse.
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
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