It wasn't long before I skipped the martini glass and went straight to drinking from the shaker.
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
You fuck like a mechanic. That is the universe telling you that is your true calling. Take this as a sign.
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
Randomize
