I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
That's nice of you to be concerned, but I'm pretty confident I'll marry someone 30 years older than me, ride out being the trophy wife for 10 or 15 years, then live large!
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
She was a cheerleader in college and President of her sorority and now she’s a sales rep for a pharmaceutical corporation. “High maintenance hot” doesn’t even begin to explain it
But dear lord is it worth it
Coworker just walked in thirty minutes late reeking like weed and clutching a handful of scratch-off tickets. Also, there’s still a stripper pole in my office. Happy Wednesday!
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