Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
i lost my phone in the process of getting a condom out of my hair
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
I like that most of our conversations somehow end in us having sex for the good of our country
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
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