Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
My sister was borrowing my phone when the sext came through. She just said "wow. He's got a nice dick!" Then went on like nothing happened. Outed by a dick pic and its no big deal. Best sister ever.
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
Omg. I definitely just got hit on by my doctor AFTER he completed my pap smear which clearly showed I was in the middle of an outbreak. What. The. Fuck.
Randomize
