She came to work with 6 additional layers of make-up, playing every Nickelback song about explicit teen sex, and with a dozen twinkies she bet she could finish without chewing any. I'm investing in a rape whistle.
she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
I'm starting to think my role in the world is to inject batshit crazy, mentally unbalanced chicks with a dose of normal sperm.
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
And my parents said I crawled through the house
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
All I wanted to do was come home from work and masturbate for national sex day... I sliced my the tip of finger giving myself a pedicure so I can’t even do that #singlelife
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
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