and then I told her I was too drunk. She started to cry, and told me this always happens to her and that she thinks shes ugly. I pretended I was asleep and then she farted.
singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
We're going to shave my junk and take pictures of it wearing fake mustaches we found at the dollar store. They're uncannily realistic; much better than the cockstaches of my youth.
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
Randomize
