weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
my mom just emptied my water bottle filled with vodka into the turtle tank.
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
You called to teach me about fire safety, meowed a whole bunch, said "I hope you are not on fire" and hung up.
Responsible roommate: 1. Someone who takes a huge shit at work so as not to clog the toilet at home.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
I just used the proceeds from selling my ex's engagement ring to fund my first date with another girl.
Randomize