Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
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If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
Dedicating my hangover to whoever the hell I hooked up with in the bathroom last night.
just kidding, dedicating it to the gods of mexican food. omnomnom
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
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She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
the bouncer just handed me a Starbucks bag of pound cake
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
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