Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
My favorite part about you getting arrested is having to explain the prosthetic leg in the front seat.
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
I snapchatted him 4 pictures of me as Tarzan's dad so if he never talks to me again at least we'll know why
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
Randomize
