I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
3pm strippers are depressing
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
Well. I had to explain to my niece that the word cunt is not an abbreviation for country. I'm the best aunt in the world.
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
Randomize
