Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
At the doctor. They're doing a flu test now. He was like "where do you think you got this?" I said "bachelor party. Strippers." he goes "okaaaay I'll put 'other'."
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
He set 8 alarms to make sure I took my birth control on time..
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
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