I love having hate sex.
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
A part of me realizes this is a bad time to text. But I override it with my awesomeness
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
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