you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
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Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
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You cant use biscuit as a chaser
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
And for some reason every time I get drunk I just want to tell you that I have a mini secret personal fan club of your dick
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