The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
I drew you a picture of Jesus holding hands with Frida Kahlo as a token of my gratitude
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
Randomize
