Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
Can you check on Mike in the bathroom. It's been like 20 min.
He's fine. He's just standing at the trash can in line for another beer from the keg. Nbd.
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
Randomize
