I thought he was gonna sex me but then he ran to my bathroom and jerked off
Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
She went to the bathroom before i broke up with her so i changed all 2500 of her songs on her computer to "I'm a cheating whore"
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
And the best part is that she's coming home to find that I completely shaved her dog.
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
She's walking around topless with a bottle of red wine, crying and singing showtune ballads. This is actually an improvement.
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
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