I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
The midget we rented got so drunk last night he got carted off in an ambulance
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
PS: I just woke up from my shower
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
Randomize
