I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
I'm pretty sure that when my parents bought me those savings bonds they thought it would go towards something useful like tuition. Not your bail.
I told you I'd buy you lunch.
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
He has no idea I'm scrolling through Instagram while he's going down on me. I'm so bored.
Randomize
