Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
i haven't been laid since the bush administration. it's frustrating.
Some advice for success: 1) Go ugly early, it saves you time and money; 2) If you can't pork a princess, pound a pig for practice; and 3) Beauty is only a light switch away.
ur like the dr phil of bizarro world.
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
I woke up on the couch screaming in pain. I don't know how ended up there or why my foot was double the size. all I know is I'm now in a cast and never drinking tequila again. worst hangover ever.
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
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