playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
Princesses don't give blow jobs
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
The jerky fairy visited my fridge. It's glorious.
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
Randomize
