Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
Okay who let me pass out in a recliner cuddling a pitbull and a cardboard cutout of Orlando Bloom
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
I just used the proceeds from selling my ex's engagement ring to fund my first date with another girl.
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
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