I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
this morning your mother said to me "sorry to have to meet you like this, in my sons bed" later she said "you never know whos gonna be in there. its scary sometimes"
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
Denim handjobs are the worst handjobs. I hate all handjobs. Why do people even.
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
Randomize
