wat bout pragnant strippers??
arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
I don't think he's ever woke up with a paraplegic stripper sitting on his face before.
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
FYI, your girlfriend is on her way to the ER. She tried to balance a bottle of jack on her chest. Smashed toes, blood all over patio. Call her, kinda funny though.
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
Using the balance in my bank account I just calculated how many fifths of vodka I can buy this year. Don't let me buy food, all my money is reserved for alcohol
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
Randomize
