fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
i wonder why nobody wants to date me...im doing a crossword at work and asked out loud: whats a 4 letter word for 'a reason to get married?'
i was like PREG?
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
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