therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
a very overweight girl in the ER just said she trippped over the invisible wii jump rope and fell
Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
He's trying to marry me, when is the appropriate time to tell him my real name and that Dallas is a completely fictitious slutty alter ego? I need the advice of someone with morals.
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
Randomize
