garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
My mom said she was relieved to see that I'd gained some weight bc she's "always worried" that I might have AIDS.
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
FRIENDSHIP PRAYER: May the crabs of 1,000 whores infest the crotch of the person who fucks up your day
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
i ran into the Jo the housecleaner earlier this morning. i mentioned i had a little hangover and she asked what the occasion was.. i replied "Tuesday" without thinking. she judged the shit out of me.
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
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