I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
i feel like my life is a cheap remake of American Pie
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
I just stole a bunch of balloons from a birthday party and am giving one to each person at the bar.
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
Randomize
